Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Men's Favorite Store

Another "fun" Wednesday night is here, yeah!! (NOT)

So, Home Depot? Lowes? Gander Mountain? Nope.

Victoria Secret!!

My wife and I went there last week since she's pregnant and well, you should be able to surmise our reason for needing to shop there. It cracks me up to go there because there are always guys in there sheepishly following their women around. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

Us guys go in there and it's like being a kid in a candy store, but we can't touch anything. We make eye contact with each other and flash each other these pathetic little embarrassed grins as we tag behind the women and hope that somehow we'll "get some" for spending $50 on a piece of lace and string.

Then there's the awkward silence as you stand outside the dressing room with the other guys. It's the worst place to be. You can't compliment the other guy's woman, you stare too long at the posters of the models and you start feeling like a perv, and hunting, fishing, or work sure aren't at the forefront of the mind for casual conversations. So you stand around staring at the floor shuffling your feet.

Of course, I have my own oddities to cap all of this off. While my wife was in the dressing room I saw the sports bra section at the OTHER side of the store and though to myself that I would be helpful and go get some of her sizes to see if they might be more comfortable for her to wear. I made a beeline over there and started rummaging through the drawers and hangers to find her size.

Now, this probably would have been fine if she had been right there with me, but I had to be THAT guy.


The guy in the dark jacket, alone on one side of the store, going through bras.

The guy who unabashedly gathers an armful of them, marches right past all of the people waiting in line to check out, reaches the dressing room and hollers out to his woman that he has more for her to try on.

It really didn't occur to me that this might appear odd until I went and completed the entire process a second time.

Probably wouldn't have been as bad if the dang things would stay on the hangers; I swear they are spring loaded to jump off when you touch them. Reaching for one in the middle or back of the rack means at least one in front and one behind would fall half off the hanger, and putting it back on means you have to touch the others and of course they fall off too.

So not only was I THAT guy sorting through bras by himself, I was THAT guy looking like a perv as it appeared I was determined to touch as many as possible.

At least I wasn't stuck staring at the floor shuffling my feet.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Bathroom Etiquette

You know, I am glad I created a blog over my furlough earlier this year. It is giving me something to do on these Wednesday nights when I don't have anything else to do.

How about another funny engineering story? Well, maybe this happens not just with engineers but it makes sense since engineers are focused on efficiency and time management. And oh yeah, a complete disregard of social etiquette rules.

What rule in particular you may ask? The rule which clearly states "Thou shalt not use a public restroom stall as thine office for either personal or private voice communications."

So I was in the middle of completing my "daily download" (if you don't know what that is don't ask), and I heard the voice in the stall next to mine gruffly say "Hello?" At first I thought maybe he was talking to me (for what purpose I had no idea), but the one-sided conversation that followed took care of that question.

"What do you want?"

"What? Just take him to school!"

* more animated *

"Just take him to school!!"

Keep in mind that this is a busy morning, all stalls are full, and yet you could hear a pin drop. The only sound was this voice steadily growing louder and more impatient.

"Well, give him the phone."

The man now begins shouting into his phone.






Now, if you have ever found yourself in the position where the person next to you is talking on the phone, and you had tacos the night before, you understand the predicament I was in. It would be rude to just "let 'er rip!" when this guy is talking on his phone, wouldn't it? But what are you supposed to do? Isn't the bathroom the ONE place where it is acceptable to let all of that out? And just can't help it...

Somehow, myself and the other 3 dudes trapped in their stalls formed a silent coalition to take the high road and keep completely quiet until he finished his yelling match with his son, finish, and leave.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Second session for tonight, and we are now in a slap-happy mood. I found a funny cat video and I can't even watch 15 seconds of it (without sound) without struggling to keep my laughter hidden behind my laptop. Here it is...maybe you guys can watch it and won't get in trouble for laughing in class.

Anna just sent me an IM that it is set to a jazzed up classical piece, so it might be funnier without the music.

About the heartbeat...

Anna and baby Tigger had their second prenatal today, and we got to hear the heartbeat!! Yeah!! It wasn't quite as life changing as maybe I was expecting, but it was comforting to hear it. YES, there is a baby in there and YES, to all accounts, Anna and Baby are doing well.

I guess that right now, I am feeling relieved. Relieved that we heard the heartbeat. Relieved that the Dr. is ok with no immunizations. Relieved that Anna is doing well and her nausea is going away. I know that all of this is more real for Anna in some ways because it is her body that is actually changing. I'm sure it will become VERY real to me when I am handed a screaming baby in about 6-7 months. :-)

The Acceleration of a Mouse...

So it's Wednesday night and again I find myself sitting in a class where the teacher is reading AT us instead of teaching us. Right now he is reading notes that he took while reading the textbook himself. LOL, the class next to us just started watching a video, and the sound is coming through the wall. It is too muffled to really be understood, but it is joining with my teacher's voice into a monotonous monologue that seems to be grabbing my eyelids and pulling them shut.

So what about the acceleration of a mouse?

Engineers can be comical people, but they often don't know it. For instance, a discussion that I overheard last week was entirely serious, and yet I found it hilarious. Three engineers were discussing speed, and one engineer was arguing about how fast he could run.

"Yeah, but you can't catch a mouse."

"Well of course I can catch a mouse. I'm faster than a mouse!"

"Being faster doesn't have anything to do with it. The mouse accelerates faster than you..."

Now the "discussion" is heating up with the second engineer exclaiming heatedly "It DOES TOO have to do with me being faster than a mouse. If you lined than mouse and I up in a 100 yard dash I would most definitely win!!"

"I'm not talking about a race, I'm talking about acceleration. It takes an animal 6 to 8 strides to reach full speed and the mouse can take those 6 to 8 strides much more quickly than a human can."

By this time my fellow engineer friend and I who were eavesdropping were hiding our doubled over laughter behind our computer monitors. Who in a WORLD argues about the "acceleration of a mouse"!?!? You can't PAY for entertainment like this!!

Sad thing is I understood and agree that a mouse accelerates faster than a human. Relatively.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

5 more classes...

Yeah. 5 more meetings of this class left, and then my last official class will be on January 27th, 2010. NONE TOO SOON!!!

Yes, I am blogging in class. I'm sorry, if you have already read the chapter, why does the teacher think he has to sit here for 3 1/2 hrs and talk at you about the chapter!?!? Needless to say I have lost interest and have about surfed as much of the internet as is practical. So, I turn to writing, and I don't know what about yet.

I got a new video game for my birthday, Halo 3: ODST which stands for Orbital Drop Shock Troopers. It started out as an expansion pack for Halo 3 but morphed into its own game. So far it has been a lot of fun. Anna and I are playing co-op through the Legendary campaign (the hardest level). She's a great partner and it is fun to play with her. It's a cool reminder for me too when we get into the tough spots how we need to work together. There are definite rewards to sticking together and working as a team in the game, and that certainly holds true for life as well. Especially now that we are on the road to be a family of 3.

Oops, brain fart. I had to actually pay attention and answer a question for a minute.

This whole thing of becoming a parent has me confused, excited, and feeling like I should be as selfish as possible now because my life will end in 7 months. Ok, not really, but this is such a huge responsibility that sometimes it boggles my mind. I know I can't see the full picture right now, but I know there are lots of changes down the road...and they've already started. Anna and I are learning more about each other and how to work together and not leave the other behind (remember the video game?). Truth be told, though, I am looking forward to the school years, helping with homework, being involved with them in sports and activities. I want to be that dad who is my kid's coach, goes to his/her games, events, etc. Some of the most fun years I remember as a kid were the couple of years I got to play baseball and my Dad was one of the coaches. I want to be the dad who his kids can look up to, but who can also meet them on their level. I know I'm going to mess up, and maybe that scares me most of all. I don't ever want to stunt them or give them problems because of my own failures.

Am I really old enough to have a child? I'm 27, but good grief I sure don't feel like I am getting closer to 30 than 20. There still is too much to learn, too much to do, too much to mature in. I guess nobody feels like they are "ready" so I know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

Another brain fart. Had to engage the teacher on hedging in the financial markets. This teacher is so boring that it feels like what I actually learned from reading is being sucked out and replaced with "duh..." He probably think we are a bunch of retards because every time he asks a questions everyone looks at him with a blank expression.

Oh yeah!! Break time!!